- Alison J
Mirror, Mirror On the Wall
Remember the scene from the Snow White movie, ‘Mirror, mirror on the Wall’? Imagine you are looking into the mirror of your past, you may not like everything you see but these moments have shaped the person you are today. Here is the new mantra, ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most precious of them all?’ The answer is you, you are the most precious of them all. The path to understanding your true self may unearth some difficult moments in your life but the rewards are plentiful.
“The degree of ones emotions varies inversely with ones knowledge of the facts.” – Bertrand Russell
Sometimes it feels like you’re the person stuck at the bottom of the seesaw when everyone else around you is soaring. Let’s get to the soaring, why are we doing this?
We need to become clear on what is holding us back, our self-limiting beliefs, unresolved trauma and family values. If we don’t take the time to unearth these emotional barriers they start to have a very physical response in our bodies. Our immune system becomes suppressed, we become negative and even sometimes depressed or anxious, and we continue to replay old patterns of behaviour.
Gain insight into those and an insurmountable wall suddenly becomes easy to cross and we end up with clarity, insight and freedom. This allows us to live life in the present whilst looking to the future with compassion, happiness and a sense of calm.
How do we do this?
Hidden Beliefs. Start by exploring your patterns of behaviour, what they mean to you and what effect they have had on your life. Some of the top most common beliefs that subconsciously rule our decisions are:
Money is the root of all evil.
If it’s too easy it can’t be real.
I’ll be happy when…
If I get too close I might get hurt.
What if I fail?
I’m scared to be me.
Past Traumas. There are many different forms of trauma that have shaped how we respond to certain situations. Gaining clarity allows you to become clear on the impact and redirect your responses. Some examples of past traumas are:
Loss. Of a loved one, pet, financial, emotional, prized possession.
Abuse. Physical, emotional, family, school, work.
Health. Decline, bad news, ongoing sickness, failure.
Upbringing. Removed from parents, abusive relationships, illness, alienation, divorce.
Family Values. Now many of you are going to say that family values are a positive. I agree with you on many points and believe that many of our modern families don’t put enough emphasis in this area. However, there are a number of family values that are instilled in us that are not necessarily beneficial. A good example is ‘Eat everything on your plate’. This sounds like good advice on the surface but for many it has created a pattern of overeating due to their guilt surrounding not finishing their meal. This value was created in an era of famine and does not always translate in our abundant society.
This is a challenging and emotional process but once you can see your patterns of behaviour and understand what’s driving those patterns, you can make a conscious effort to redirect.
Your sense of self-worth, as well as your physical and emotional health will thank you.